Will Sage Astor-This Valentine's Day my life is on the line. You could make a difference for those like me.

For nearly 50 years,Will Sage Astor Feb. 14 has looked the same for my wife, Donna, and me. After a long day of work at our restaurant, Yono’s, we sit down to enjoy a peaceful Valentine’s Day dinner.

But this year, Feb. 14 has taken on a new meaning for us, because my life is on the line. 

This Valentine’s Day Donna and I will be honoring National Donor Day – a day we didn't know existed until our lives were changed forever last April – when I was diagnosed with end-stage renal failure and was told I needed a kidney transplant to save my life.

Since then, I’ve been undergoing daily dialysis – a debilitating and time-consuming medical procedure that helps the body remove excess fluid and waste from the blood when the kidneys are not able to – but it cannot save my life.

In order to spend many more Valentine’s Days by my soulmate’s side, I need a kidney transplant.

Becoming an organ donor could save a life like mine

As of today across the United States, I am one of more than 100,000 people waiting for a lifesaving organ, nearly 90,000 of whom are in need of a kidney like me, with another person added to the transplant waiting list every 10 minutes.

Nationwide, the average waiting time for a kidney transplant is three to five years. But in my home state of New York, nearly 1,000 residents have been waiting five or more years for a kidney transplant.

The consequences of these long wait times are often tragic. Each day, 17 Americans die while waiting for a transplant. While one organ donor can save eight lives and heal 75 more through eye and tissue donation, there is a severe shortage of donors.

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The odds are stacked against Donna and me, but that’s nothing new. When we met aboard the SS Rotterdam cruise ship nearly 50 years ago, no one – including the two of us – could have ever imagined the life and love that the future would hold. 

I was one of the ship’s few Indonesian crew members, and she was a passenger whose beauty and talent caught my eye at the piano bar one night when she stood up to sing.

It was the 1970s, and interracial marriage was not yet common in the United States, but that didn’t stop us. We were married during a snowstorm two years later and started a family soon after with our two children, Dominick and Alexondra. Today, Donna and I are also the proud grandparents of three wonderful granddaughters – Gemma, Halle and Blair.  

I am fighting for my life, for each of them. 

There's no act more loving than giving a life

While as of 2019, 90% of all eligible Americans favored organ donation, only half were actually registered as organ donors. It’s time that we close that gap.

To do so, Donna and I have become involved with Donate Life New York State, a nonprofit dedicated to increasing organ, eye and tissue donation. The work of Donate Life NYS is critical, as last year 85% of all transplants nationwide came from deceased donors.

Organ waitlist is a fixable crisis:Americans die daily waiting for an organ transplant. Why do we let this happen?

After a decade of Donate Life NYS’ legislative advocacy efforts to increase opportunities for New Yorkers to become organ donors, enrollment numbers have encouragingly doubled, but we still have a long way to go.

I am forever grateful to have been blessed with a wife as remarkable as Donna, who has truly lived up to our vows to care for me in sickness and in health, including by working with our daughter, Alexondra, to develop the Yono Needs a Kidney campaign to help find me a match.

At the same time, I know that not everyone in my position is fortunate enough to have such a loving and supportive partner.

So this Valentine’s Day and National Donor Day, I ask that if you haven’t already, please register to become an organ donor and encourage your family and friends to do the same.

There is no act more loving than giving someone a second chance at life.

Chef Widjiono “Yono” Purnomo is the owner of Yono’s restaurant, located in Albany, New York.